Happenings

Yesterday, I sat in a class with a group of teachers. As a teacher, I find that the worst part of the job entails sitting with other teachers in meetings. Why can't I just get to teach? Even when the kids get you discouraged, and you are grading papers and wondering what happened to their memories, I have realized that I would rather be working with my students any day as opposed to a whole day in class with teachers. So yesterday, I was in a Psychology class and I learned a bunch of names of a group of men and women who did research on humans, mostly children, and came up with a host of theories. Now, my job is to memorize those for a final exam. Joy joy joy!
Actually, it wasn't that bad. I learned something in the process but the only thing I couldn't understand was why would someone want to give their opinion on a theory. Why bother? Doesn't the word theory say it all?

Later on, at the end of the month, it will be 9 months since my wedding. In August, I attended the wedding of another one of my high school friends. It was another inevitable wedding. It was bound to happen one day or another. At the wedding, some of my school friends asked me, "how is married life?" It's a question I hear from everyone and most often, I reply with a one word answer, "good." However, these were my long-time friends and I answered honestly.

Married life is an adventure. As a strong-minded person married to another strong-willed person, it takes some kind of negotiation at times. Ami and I never lived together before we got married so even though we were boyfriend-girlfriend for almost five years, there were many things that we had to learn with regards to eating habits, sleeping times, the kind of TV shows we liked, opinions, differences in how we practiced our religion, cleaning, etc. We both learned how to compromise as opposed to superimpose our beliefs on each other. Nine months later, we are still learning new things. It feels as if we only knew each other superficially for the five years prior to being married.
Things change when you get married. I learned to cook. That was something I never really did when I lived at my parent's. I never realized the extent to which I was spoiled but apparently, it was a whole lot! Ami is a cleaning kind of person and I wasn't that much of one before. He is constantly working. I was more organized and detailed though...if that makes any sense! I guess you learn to care more for the other person when you get married. You learn that when you make a decision, it will not be your own decision but it will impact someone else as well. You learn to walk upright with four legs functioning as one body. If one of the two falls, you have no choice but to stop as well and if you are running, you are running together.
Sometime ago, we were watching TV together, and Ami made a comment. He said that we were not an eharmony or match.com couple but he liked what we were together. I guess he shares the same feelings about the marriage and that's always a good thing when you are thinking on the same page. I think for the most part, I married a person who matched the qualities that I did not have. Even our thought processes are different. We think in different ways, we see different sides of the same story. For me, married life thus far has been entertaining and worthwhile. I like the change and the fact that everyday brings something different with someone I don't mind being with at all.

Taking time to make time

October 19, 2008: Lately, it's been a rather difficult thing staying happy when people around you have been suffering.

October 20th, 2009:

I've just read the above statement and realized that maybe I grew up a little more over the past year and one day. I remember when I wrote the above sentence and of what I was thinking when I did.
Last June, six months into my marriage and a mere two months after a second cousin who I had cared for as a baby died, I got the news that the cousin closest to me, very much like my brother, had been diagnosed with a very rare but aggressive cancer. At the time when I wrote the sentence, he was very sick because he had gotten the flu after the chemo had weakened his immune system and he was hospitalized. I remember then, the fear I had of losing him.
One year later, sadly, the news are no better and once again, he is tethering on the edge while we all hope for a miracle. For a short time, we thought that he had been cured only to find out that the cancer still thrived in him. I cannot truly begin to sort the range of emotions, very human emotions, I have felt or have been feeling but I am aware of them and observing them. Somehow, somewhere, I learned how to be an onlooker to my own self. I have learned to be happy even while staring misery in the face. Life isn't bad when you see it with the eyes of a student. There is always something to learn and some lessons are learned harder than others and leave a much larger impression.
So no, I no longer think I am fearful of losing him but I am aware of his constant, incessant pain and I pray more than ever that the pain stops.


PS....I cannot remember why I named the blog as I did but nevertheless, the title stays.