Monday, March 12, 2012

spiritual crossroads

I am not sure what is going on in my head but a few weeks ago, the thought came to my head that i was in need of spiritual advancement. I feel as if i am frustrated now. i am at a point where i need to find a pathway and i am seeing it but cannot get there fast enough. it is the frustration that keeps you awake at night in the silence. Not sure what needs to be done but i do not want to lose the feeling of what is beneath the surface. I feel as if i am someone walking on a lake that is iced over and i am seeing what is beneath but i cannot get under.
I have been repeating a the lines of Adishankara, "chidananda roopam shivoham shivoham" over and over in my head and i think i am ready to learn more and move ahead. I pray that i don't lose this feeling. with it, i feel satisfied and contented. imagine that, the mere thought of becoming closer makes one happy! the prevailing thought is that all else does not matter.
on another note, i was speaking to a friend the other day about the feeling of contentment and she said that it may not really exist because of the lower levels of maslow's hierarchy and human yearning to fulfill those levels does not allow for contentment. for a while, i wondered if being of Hindu heritage made contentment a possibility minus Maslow. my only answer was to state that i may be the exception to the rule that makes every psychologist's world less than perfect. or another reasoning was that there were not many things i needed to accomplish and i had already climbed my ladder.

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