At this point, I'm getting just about ready. I'm not sure if I am the first person to say that they wished that the baby waited until the final paper was submitted but yes, I did say that. Today, I submitted my last final for classes and I'm all game now. Last week the doctor said that there was no progress. Apparently, the little one is comfortable and quite happy where he is. I figured as much. Today I went walking and I could only do a half of what I used to do before but it was still some exercise and I felt much better after I walked. It's a lot better than sitting around the house. Right now, the best part of it all is that people are cheering you on as if it is a little race to some unforeseen finish line. The worst part are those stretch marks that decided to pop up just when I thought I'd escaped them. Aside from reading about what to expect, I have pretty much zoned out everyone's horror stories and I'm keeping myself in a happy state of oblivion. I figure that I'll deal with whatever has to come in a week or two for the most.
While speaking on that topic, that is pretty much what I have come to do with most advice that I get. I know that people mean well but as someone who's excited to be a new parent, I would like to live the experience also. We are quite lucky to have family around but even so, we are both very independent and very territorial. I am not sure how it will play out but I think we just need some time to spend with our little one alone when he is born. I may end up changing my mind but I do believe that I've made the best decision. I'd listen but at the same time, I would like to learn on my own and believe me, relatives and people who've been through it are all too willing to let you know everything. The only thing is that I would rather ask for help if I need it than to feel as if it is imposed on me.
The house is just about ready for a baby welcome. We probably need the weekend coming up to finish up on a few minor details if our little one will allow it. Either way, his room is set up and I've put out the things that I think he will need most once he comes home...the diapering things and the smallest clothes that were gifted to him. It's the cutest thing looking at the tiny little clothes and thinking of the little person that will be fitting in them soon enough. It's a very warm feeling you get.
Lastly, it took us a while to decide on a name. We've pretty much found one but I have kept it to myself. Admittedly, I've told a little lie whenever anyone asks. Ami has told one or two people but I asked him to stop. I'm not sure why it matters to me to keep it quiet until the little one is born but I think it will be better after we see him and figure out if the name fits. In any case, it will only be a week or two for the most before he's born and everyone knows his name.
Monday, December 09, 2013
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Three more weeks...more or less
It's the last three weeks. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I am not sure what to expect and would love to see the little guy's face but at the same time, I'm not sure if we have everything ready for him. Either way, he's not going to stay in me forever and he's going to make his debut sometime this month. My mom and mother-in-law both say that you follow the full moon, three days before or three days after. I'm not sure about any days except that I'm hoping that I get the semester at the university over with and my two pending research papers written and submitted before he's born. I'm not even sure about completing the school semester anymore.
Two weeks ago, I said I felt large. That was before I noticed stretch marks. I really thought that I had escaped them but nope I didn't. They all appeared overnight. I'm sure that they were there but I never noticed them until they became hard to miss. I can definitely say, you'll get them once you reach that point where your skin has maxed out and the baby's still growing....yep, those last few weeks when you think that you've gotten as large as you can but nature doesn't. I am definitely larger and I sure feel it. It's gotten a bit uncomfortable to maneuver around with the little guy because you just can't get up in a hurry or turn over or roll off the bed as easily as it used to be. Now, they're all these antics involved.
I cannot wait to wear non-maternity clothes and I'm pretty sure I'll throw out half of the things I wore during this time. I would love to wear my favorite pair of jeans once again. Haven't been able to fit into them since I was about 12 weeks. With all that being said though, I'm not sure if I'm tired of being pregnant. Some women are through as soon as they're 35-36 weeks but I enjoyed the little guy. He is a good guest and he's fun when he moves. I look forward to his movements. They're predictable and he never kicked a lot. He just loves to move around and stretch his legs:)
In the last two to three weeks, Ami has moved into a new role. He's become over-protective and his energies are focused on the baby. He's begun to "nest." He wants the house to be perfect for the baby and I try to tell him that the little guy will not care or notice anything but that's Ami's nature. He's a doer and this is a project that is taking all of his energies. In some ways, I can see how he draws more strength from his work and constantly being on the go. Ami has sought out to fix anything that is involved in the baby's life, from taking care of his clothes and storing them to making sure that he's safe when I drive him around. He's set up the baby's room and even went on to add crown moulding and larger baseboards while making sure that all the colors are matching in the room. It's a nice thing to watch and I am not going to intervene. I'll let him enjoy himself. In the meantime, I will cherish these last few days where we are and aren't yet a family.
Two weeks ago, I said I felt large. That was before I noticed stretch marks. I really thought that I had escaped them but nope I didn't. They all appeared overnight. I'm sure that they were there but I never noticed them until they became hard to miss. I can definitely say, you'll get them once you reach that point where your skin has maxed out and the baby's still growing....yep, those last few weeks when you think that you've gotten as large as you can but nature doesn't. I am definitely larger and I sure feel it. It's gotten a bit uncomfortable to maneuver around with the little guy because you just can't get up in a hurry or turn over or roll off the bed as easily as it used to be. Now, they're all these antics involved.
I cannot wait to wear non-maternity clothes and I'm pretty sure I'll throw out half of the things I wore during this time. I would love to wear my favorite pair of jeans once again. Haven't been able to fit into them since I was about 12 weeks. With all that being said though, I'm not sure if I'm tired of being pregnant. Some women are through as soon as they're 35-36 weeks but I enjoyed the little guy. He is a good guest and he's fun when he moves. I look forward to his movements. They're predictable and he never kicked a lot. He just loves to move around and stretch his legs:)
In the last two to three weeks, Ami has moved into a new role. He's become over-protective and his energies are focused on the baby. He's begun to "nest." He wants the house to be perfect for the baby and I try to tell him that the little guy will not care or notice anything but that's Ami's nature. He's a doer and this is a project that is taking all of his energies. In some ways, I can see how he draws more strength from his work and constantly being on the go. Ami has sought out to fix anything that is involved in the baby's life, from taking care of his clothes and storing them to making sure that he's safe when I drive him around. He's set up the baby's room and even went on to add crown moulding and larger baseboards while making sure that all the colors are matching in the room. It's a nice thing to watch and I am not going to intervene. I'll let him enjoy himself. In the meantime, I will cherish these last few days where we are and aren't yet a family.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
35 weeks and counting
A great deal of time has passed since the last blog. I went from not having much to do in the summer to being so incredibly busy that I cannot really keep up. Since then, I've found out the gender of the baby. It's a boy and I've gotten incredibly used to him moving around...a lot! He's a pretty active one and that makes me happy. I must say that we have only just settled slightly on a name and I am not sure if it would change again before or when he is born. We had settled on a girl's name but the boy's name is hard and when you live in America, you have to be careful that kids don't make fun of your kid's name at school while choosing a name that speaks of the child's cultural identity. It's harder than it seems.
At 35 weeks, it's really hard to stay awake beyond 12 hours at a time. I come home to sleep. I drive to night classes and sleep in the hour that I have before class. The problem is, while I took every extra minute to sleep before the pregnancy, I can't seem to get enough sleep now. Teaching can take it's toll on you, even when you're sitting for most of the day. It still requires you to interact with the kids and make sure that each one of them is getting the lesson or at least some of it.
At the beginning of the school year, when I was still in the second trimester and feeling great, I felt that I could work until the semester ended. That was when my belly didn't look and feel or weigh the same as a bowling ball. Now, I am not so sure. I'm down to a "one day at a time" approach. While the baby continues to be good, I feel heavy. The doctor says I'm within the normal weight gain range but every week, the clothes get tighter and I am really not in the mood to spend any extra money on clothes for one month that I'll probably want to throw away after the baby is born for being sick of wearing them. So far, I've been creative. I never really wore anything really tight but now, the loosest things in my closet are tight.
One thing I have to say is that people are really nice to you when you're pregnant. They hold doors for you even when they see you waddling from a while's behind them, they offer to empty your grocery cart so that you don't have to stretch, and they carry things for you. Even the kids at school have become very protective. I am not a person that really looks for help from people but I've found myself accepting the help. Another thing is that people seem to be fascinated with my belly. They want to touch it and I'm not a touchy-feely person. Never was so I tend to back away from them when I see them coming. It's definitely not one of my favorite things.
The last thing is the wait. Whoever came up with the word "expecting" really did capture the truest nature of what pregnancy really is. You wait. You worry. You get anxious. And you expect. You dream so much of this little person and you wonder what he/she will look like and be like. Will he look even an ounce like me or will he be completely like his dad? Will he be healthy? I think that is the biggest worry for any parent to be. You end up spending hours doing this without realizing and you wake up at night, even when all you want to do is sleep and think about this little person who is oblivious to the world outside. At the beginning of the pregnancy, I thought the time was moving by so slowly and even now, it is slow again and yet with each passing day, the due date nears.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Finally Obama Speaks on the Trayvon Martin-Zimmerman Trial. Thoughts
I love it when I turn on the TV, and inadvertently watch history in the making. Obama has famously skirted the issue of race and today, around 1:45pm, there was a turning point. Even watching it, you felt as if something was going down. Something big. I waited the entire week for his speech. I am sure many were also anticipating the speech and out of the blue, he showed up at a White House press conference and spoke. He gave his own accounts of being profiled and addressed what is happening in the nation. He justified the African American response to the verdict and as a people who have spent their lives getting the short end of the stick when it comes to education, jobs, healthcare, justice, and opportunities, their reaction to the verdict was every bit right. I agree.
I think what Obama said was what people needed to hear. It was not a speech about solutions but it was a speech that told the public that Obama identified with the minorities and he knew their struggle. It was all we needed to hear. I would so love to tell the people who constantly say "us and them," and who deny that there is a huge discrepancy in this country (FOX news in particular) to go screw themselves. I feel as if everything about this channel is about keeping the nation in a deadlock and preventing progress. They believe that they are the only intelligent ones in the country and everyone else is wearing a blindfold. Only the fool thinks he is wise!
So here is why I am following this so closely. For me, it is personal. I grew up learning to distrust blacks. In Trinidad, the country is racially divided so I knew what racism was from the beginning. However, one thing changed everything. I started teaching at a school that was predominantly black. It was the single most important thing that could have happened to me and I am thankful that it did because you see how wrong racism really is. You see how it propagates hatred and ignorance. God cannot be present where these things exist. I saw how these kids were always set up to fail and how at an early age, they were fooled into thinking they were given the same opportunity when in reality, they weren't. It bothered me. It is unfair and two things make our future brighter, children and education. That's it and it was enough to show me that all of what I learned as a child was from one pocket in time and needed to stay where it belonged, in the past. It is time to learn, tear down walls, and to move forward.
While there are problems that are inherent to the African American group, these problems stem from years and years of cyclical poverty and lower socio economic status that gives a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. This can be corrected. There is a divide in this country that did not exist in Trinidad. In some ways, I felt as if the near 50-50 division of the races prevented either race in Trinidad from suffering the same injustices I see here.I can safely say that a lack of education and willingness to learn about another person's culture and customs will cause what we are seeing in this country today. Once you learn about a person, you see them as an equal. You don't see color and it is one of the most liberating feelings.
Finally, one cannot tell me that racial profiling occurs. You only have to watch my husband at an airport screening line. Now the strike here is that if this baby I am having turns out to be a boy, not only will I have to worry because I will have a brown-skinned child but someone will think that my little one is a terrorist as well. The sad thing is we are not the same race, extremist, Arab, fanatics, nor are we Muslim! We only share the same skin color and that is enough to profile us as well. Hence, Trayvon Martin's story belongs to all of us who have witnessed and lived racial profiling.
I think what Obama said was what people needed to hear. It was not a speech about solutions but it was a speech that told the public that Obama identified with the minorities and he knew their struggle. It was all we needed to hear. I would so love to tell the people who constantly say "us and them," and who deny that there is a huge discrepancy in this country (FOX news in particular) to go screw themselves. I feel as if everything about this channel is about keeping the nation in a deadlock and preventing progress. They believe that they are the only intelligent ones in the country and everyone else is wearing a blindfold. Only the fool thinks he is wise!
So here is why I am following this so closely. For me, it is personal. I grew up learning to distrust blacks. In Trinidad, the country is racially divided so I knew what racism was from the beginning. However, one thing changed everything. I started teaching at a school that was predominantly black. It was the single most important thing that could have happened to me and I am thankful that it did because you see how wrong racism really is. You see how it propagates hatred and ignorance. God cannot be present where these things exist. I saw how these kids were always set up to fail and how at an early age, they were fooled into thinking they were given the same opportunity when in reality, they weren't. It bothered me. It is unfair and two things make our future brighter, children and education. That's it and it was enough to show me that all of what I learned as a child was from one pocket in time and needed to stay where it belonged, in the past. It is time to learn, tear down walls, and to move forward.
While there are problems that are inherent to the African American group, these problems stem from years and years of cyclical poverty and lower socio economic status that gives a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. This can be corrected. There is a divide in this country that did not exist in Trinidad. In some ways, I felt as if the near 50-50 division of the races prevented either race in Trinidad from suffering the same injustices I see here.I can safely say that a lack of education and willingness to learn about another person's culture and customs will cause what we are seeing in this country today. Once you learn about a person, you see them as an equal. You don't see color and it is one of the most liberating feelings.
Finally, one cannot tell me that racial profiling occurs. You only have to watch my husband at an airport screening line. Now the strike here is that if this baby I am having turns out to be a boy, not only will I have to worry because I will have a brown-skinned child but someone will think that my little one is a terrorist as well. The sad thing is we are not the same race, extremist, Arab, fanatics, nor are we Muslim! We only share the same skin color and that is enough to profile us as well. Hence, Trayvon Martin's story belongs to all of us who have witnessed and lived racial profiling.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
my take on Trayvon Martin's trial
Like many, we have been following this case for quite a while in our home state of Florida. I was one of the people who signed the petition to have Zimmerman arrested because I felt as if for too long there has been a divide in this country and anyone who shoots a kid who was unarmed needs to go through some sort of trial. Even with his not guilty verdict, I feel as if the nation just put Zimmerman on their own trial. If I assumed that every black child who looked like a "thug," had a grill, and smoked marijuana, was up to no good then I would have to leave my profession as I would be terribly biased. I've found that these kids are the first ones to say "sorry" and they are quite polite. I've never smoked a day in my life, and I don't drink but I will not make assumptions about anyone who does. However, there is a factor of respect. Kids are people too. Black kids are people too!
It is scary when you don't know about someone and go on assumptions. Assumptions are scary and they can lead to death. This is what I think happened here. Yes there was profiling. I feel as if something needs to be done about the gun laws in this country. They need to be more stringent because too often, they are used for the true purpose for what they were made: to kill. Very often, innocent people are killed and yeah, they protect too...they protect the shooter.
I wonder, like a lot of people, if George Zimmerman did not have that gun on his person, would he have even approached Trayvon? You see, a gun puts one into a whole new ball game. If I were a kid in today's America, there are two things I would do in a situation like that. Well three. I could run, I could stay and speak with the person, or I could do what Trayvon did and get aggressive. I wouldn't blame any reaction. If you are a hot-headed kid, you would turn around and cuss the heck out of Zimmerman and probably beat the crap out of him for assuming you were up to no good when you were minding your own business. Let's not pretend. How would you react if someone suggested or accused you of something you weren't doing? When we are hurt about something, we can cry or we can react with anger. Now I don't blame Trayvon's reaction. We really don't give young people respect. I see it all the time. This kid made a grave mistake. He assumed that in today's world, because we live in a country that elected a black President and anyone could achieve their dreams, that somehow he was equal and that the stories of his parents and grandparents were buried in history. Not everyone shared his thought.
It is scary when you don't know about someone and go on assumptions. Assumptions are scary and they can lead to death. This is what I think happened here. Yes there was profiling. I feel as if something needs to be done about the gun laws in this country. They need to be more stringent because too often, they are used for the true purpose for what they were made: to kill. Very often, innocent people are killed and yeah, they protect too...they protect the shooter.
I wonder, like a lot of people, if George Zimmerman did not have that gun on his person, would he have even approached Trayvon? You see, a gun puts one into a whole new ball game. If I were a kid in today's America, there are two things I would do in a situation like that. Well three. I could run, I could stay and speak with the person, or I could do what Trayvon did and get aggressive. I wouldn't blame any reaction. If you are a hot-headed kid, you would turn around and cuss the heck out of Zimmerman and probably beat the crap out of him for assuming you were up to no good when you were minding your own business. Let's not pretend. How would you react if someone suggested or accused you of something you weren't doing? When we are hurt about something, we can cry or we can react with anger. Now I don't blame Trayvon's reaction. We really don't give young people respect. I see it all the time. This kid made a grave mistake. He assumed that in today's world, because we live in a country that elected a black President and anyone could achieve their dreams, that somehow he was equal and that the stories of his parents and grandparents were buried in history. Not everyone shared his thought.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
"Nesting"
Just this week, I left my normally vegetative state and began a cleaning and organizing frenzy. These are things I never really think of on a daily basis but lately, I have been looking at the house in a whole new light. While I do like seeing a clean house and I appreciate seeing things in place, I am not OCD about it. However, I emptied out two closets so far and threw out the clothes I would never wear again or clothes I had grown tired of wearing, cleaned the storage closet and arranged the items on the shelf over the washer and dryer. I thought about donating the clothes to the neighborhood clothes bank but I wonder how awkward it will be to donate Indian wear since a great many of the clothes were of that type. Another thing I let go of was my size 3 clothes. I think I have given up the thought that I would fit into that size anymore. They were from my ultra thin-college and early going out with Ami days.
It turns out that just as there is a name for every phenomenon out there, there is a name for this organizing and cleaning that comes with pregnancy. It is called nesting. Apparently, it stems from some subconscious need of mine to prepare for the baby and get things ready. Later in pregnancy, it could signify impending labor.
In many ways, I am thankful that I have this summer free. For one, because I get to prepare the house and do a thorough cleaning. Last year, I worked throughout the summer planning curriculum for an additional class that was being taught. It took up the entire time as I was working on two separate classes and when the school year started, I felt grossly unprepared. Hopefully, this year, I will be a little more rested and prepared to face what comes once the school year roller coaster begins.
The doctor told me that it wouldn't be until the next four weeks that I find out the gender of the baby. I have no real inclinations and it is a bit nerve wrecking. My belly isn't big enough to tell if it is watermelon or football (American, I am supposing) shaped although I just started showing this week...like non-bloated showing. In addition to that, I have no idea what carrying high or carrying low is and I have had changing tastes in food. In the beginning I ate potato chips but that went quickly and now I tolerate the sweets better. I cannot stand the sour taste but that may change. The only consistency I have noted is that I like adding extra pepper to my food when I eat, something I never really did before. This is assuming that I follow the old wives' tales but the problem is that my logical mind gets in the way. I did try the Chinese gender predictor and it predicted girl though. Lets see. Until then, I am going gender neutral and continuing the cleaning process.
It turns out that just as there is a name for every phenomenon out there, there is a name for this organizing and cleaning that comes with pregnancy. It is called nesting. Apparently, it stems from some subconscious need of mine to prepare for the baby and get things ready. Later in pregnancy, it could signify impending labor.
In many ways, I am thankful that I have this summer free. For one, because I get to prepare the house and do a thorough cleaning. Last year, I worked throughout the summer planning curriculum for an additional class that was being taught. It took up the entire time as I was working on two separate classes and when the school year started, I felt grossly unprepared. Hopefully, this year, I will be a little more rested and prepared to face what comes once the school year roller coaster begins.
The doctor told me that it wouldn't be until the next four weeks that I find out the gender of the baby. I have no real inclinations and it is a bit nerve wrecking. My belly isn't big enough to tell if it is watermelon or football (American, I am supposing) shaped although I just started showing this week...like non-bloated showing. In addition to that, I have no idea what carrying high or carrying low is and I have had changing tastes in food. In the beginning I ate potato chips but that went quickly and now I tolerate the sweets better. I cannot stand the sour taste but that may change. The only consistency I have noted is that I like adding extra pepper to my food when I eat, something I never really did before. This is assuming that I follow the old wives' tales but the problem is that my logical mind gets in the way. I did try the Chinese gender predictor and it predicted girl though. Lets see. Until then, I am going gender neutral and continuing the cleaning process.
Friday, July 05, 2013
Driving myself crazy
The thing that I find myself doing most is google searching what happens as the various weeks and days pass by. It is an obsession and I am sure that I am not the only person who does this during their pregnancy. The only thing is that after a while, you want to feel the baby move or something to reassure yourself that everything is okay. The doctor's visit seems so far away now.
In fact, I think I am beginning to become a bit impatient and I am usually quite patient. I am aware that it is almost 16 weeks (15 weeks, 4 days) and that the time is passing by but I feel as if I am in a bit of a lull and the time is not passing by quickly enough. I think I need to find things to occupy my time. In actuality, there are a lot of things that I can do but I am waiting for the 20 week mark.
I have downloaded a few apps and a pregnancy countdown timer as well and I've read all of the messages for the full 40 weeks so now all I do is reread them. I know what every test is for and I've acquainted myself with quite a few medical terms as well as all of the possible things that can go right and wrong. Basically, in an educated way, I am driving myself nuts!
I am very well aware that this is probably the one of the last totally free weeks that I will have for a long long time...well for the rest of my life because Nan has decided to get remarried and there is a wedding on the very near horizon as well as the temple's camp and the week after, school begins.
If all goes well, I plan to work until the Christmas break begins. Let's see how things turn out. As for the Ph.D. I am working on that slowly....very, very slowly. It may be too late to drop it because I'm half way through but the prospects of landing a public health job in Florida is next to nothing. I do feel a little more accomplished for getting the MPH and I am happy that I decided to pursue a Ph.D. but I am not sure what will happen when the baby comes. Thankfully, I got most of the studies completed before. I really do like the field and with the new rules for health insurance and the swing toward preventive medicine, we may be in demand shortly and hopefully, there will be more job openings in South Florida.
I am a bit upset about the deal that we got with teaching. I called last week to find out about what my insurance covers and found that as teachers, we get a good deal with benefits...for ourselves. To add a child to my insurance is another issue. I also found out that while teachers are allowed 12 weeks and their insurance is covered during that time, they are not paid, not even a fraction of their salary. I wondered about that. What about those teachers who live in single-income homes? While Ami and I are a bit more secure, I wondered how others do it. The life of a public servant is a tough one indeed!
Having a baby in this country is an expensive venture for middle class people who receive no aid from government, state or federal. From what I have seen, and it is not certain, the cheapest newborn insurance runs around $100. Then we have to wonder about someone who will see the baby and that is also another thing that will run up the bill. My mom, who has been wanting a grandchild for quite a long time, has volunteered to do as much babysitting as she can and I am totally on board with her more than anyone else but she cannot quit her job.
Either way, now that I know what's involved, I will save a little extra when the new school year begins just to be ahead. When I told my dad about the whole salary situation, he gave me a look and replied with the same answer that he always gave since we were little, "But anyhow, you're not going to starve!"
In fact, I think I am beginning to become a bit impatient and I am usually quite patient. I am aware that it is almost 16 weeks (15 weeks, 4 days) and that the time is passing by but I feel as if I am in a bit of a lull and the time is not passing by quickly enough. I think I need to find things to occupy my time. In actuality, there are a lot of things that I can do but I am waiting for the 20 week mark.
I have downloaded a few apps and a pregnancy countdown timer as well and I've read all of the messages for the full 40 weeks so now all I do is reread them. I know what every test is for and I've acquainted myself with quite a few medical terms as well as all of the possible things that can go right and wrong. Basically, in an educated way, I am driving myself nuts!
I am very well aware that this is probably the one of the last totally free weeks that I will have for a long long time...well for the rest of my life because Nan has decided to get remarried and there is a wedding on the very near horizon as well as the temple's camp and the week after, school begins.
If all goes well, I plan to work until the Christmas break begins. Let's see how things turn out. As for the Ph.D. I am working on that slowly....very, very slowly. It may be too late to drop it because I'm half way through but the prospects of landing a public health job in Florida is next to nothing. I do feel a little more accomplished for getting the MPH and I am happy that I decided to pursue a Ph.D. but I am not sure what will happen when the baby comes. Thankfully, I got most of the studies completed before. I really do like the field and with the new rules for health insurance and the swing toward preventive medicine, we may be in demand shortly and hopefully, there will be more job openings in South Florida.
I am a bit upset about the deal that we got with teaching. I called last week to find out about what my insurance covers and found that as teachers, we get a good deal with benefits...for ourselves. To add a child to my insurance is another issue. I also found out that while teachers are allowed 12 weeks and their insurance is covered during that time, they are not paid, not even a fraction of their salary. I wondered about that. What about those teachers who live in single-income homes? While Ami and I are a bit more secure, I wondered how others do it. The life of a public servant is a tough one indeed!
Having a baby in this country is an expensive venture for middle class people who receive no aid from government, state or federal. From what I have seen, and it is not certain, the cheapest newborn insurance runs around $100. Then we have to wonder about someone who will see the baby and that is also another thing that will run up the bill. My mom, who has been wanting a grandchild for quite a long time, has volunteered to do as much babysitting as she can and I am totally on board with her more than anyone else but she cannot quit her job.
Either way, now that I know what's involved, I will save a little extra when the new school year begins just to be ahead. When I told my dad about the whole salary situation, he gave me a look and replied with the same answer that he always gave since we were little, "But anyhow, you're not going to starve!"
Thursday, June 27, 2013
The whole barrage of tests
Lately, it seems as if all I've been going through is every conceivable prenatal test that exists. And of course it doesn't help to change doctors somewhere in week 10 of the pregnancy. I will speak about that later on or in a later post because it is something that upsets me. So back to the testing.
Combined with my new doctor and the one I had before, I've been to the/a doctor's office 5 times and have had blood drawn on 3 occasions and I'm only 14 weeks!
I am hoping that if I do decide to have another baby after this one, that the records will be there for these genetic markers and all of the extra testing will not be necessary.
So far, the most unnecessary test I had was an ultrasound on the 8 week mark to determine my due date. Unless you have totally irregular cycles or you had some kind of amnesia, this is a totally unnecessary test and at the 11-14 week nuchal translucency screening (a necessary ultrasound) they estimate the due date based on the baby's size, etc. In that way, you and the baby are not exposed to that many ultrasounds and you stay on the safer side of the ultrasound research. Some studies suggest that the high frequency waves may cause some sort of neurological damage and the number of ultrasounds/sonograms should be limited.
Otherwise, at about 8 weeks, I also had a series of blood tests. Well, I went to the LabCorp location and they took 8 vials (seemed endless). Thankfully, I've never been afraid of giving blood or having blood drawn but I can imagine the scene if I were or if Ami came along. Turns out that all of those screens came back okay and I was not a carrier for any genetic condition:) That eliminated another source of worry.
Last week, I had a nuchal translucency ultrasound and I got to watch for more than 30 minutes while my little one kicked up a storm and refused to get into a cooperative position. It was the best summer movie I saw so far and I cannot describe the happiness I felt. Ami hasn't been able to accompany me on any of these visits as he started a new job and he is on probation right now so he relies on me describing everything to him. Come to think of it, I never suggested to him that he needed to go except for the one where we find out the gender. I got four little pictures from this sonogram and today, I saw him pick up the picture and speak to it. The great news about this ultrasound is that the nuchal size came back within range so the risk of down syndrome is much lower. I also had two vials of blood taken at that visit since the new doctor ordered an integrative scan. I am not sure why she ordered the blood works as well but I think this was "new non-invasive research" from what I read.
Finally, I had another necessary test yesterday. There is a strong history of diabetes in my family. I thought that it was a bother having to go through it though but the doctor suggested that I take an early glucose screen. I had to be fasting so I scheduled an 8:30 appointment and sure enough, I was starving when I got there. I had to drink a 10 oz bottle of fruit punch flavored yuckiness with 50 grams of sugar. In the hour I sat in the waiting area, I prayed that this test turned out okay. Otherwise, I would be rescheduled for a 3 hour test that would require a blood draw every hour. Joy joy joy! After the hour, the phlebotomist took three vials (the doctor had also requested a thyroid and vitamin D scan). I drove to my parents house after, part because I was hungry and also because I wanted to test my blood sugar. It was about 15 minutes after I left the place and the reading was 105. Hopefully, it wouldn't be much different from what the LabCorp place reports and I am tolerating glucose well so far or either my baby has quite an appetite:)
It occurred to me while talking/venting to a friend yesterday that the reason why they were doing so many tests was because I have been married for 5 years and this is my first child at 30. Am I an anomaly? Do people have children sooner? At the time Ami and I got married, we did not think of having kids (really at the time we got married, neither of us wanted to have kids until a few years along) and we were still trying to become a little more established in life. I wondered if the doctors thought that I had been trying for a while and never conceived? That will be something for me to ask at my next visit (which is sure to come!). In the mean time, I thank God that I have insurance coverage and at the same time, I wonder if I would be going to the doctor so many times if I didn't.
Combined with my new doctor and the one I had before, I've been to the/a doctor's office 5 times and have had blood drawn on 3 occasions and I'm only 14 weeks!
I am hoping that if I do decide to have another baby after this one, that the records will be there for these genetic markers and all of the extra testing will not be necessary.
So far, the most unnecessary test I had was an ultrasound on the 8 week mark to determine my due date. Unless you have totally irregular cycles or you had some kind of amnesia, this is a totally unnecessary test and at the 11-14 week nuchal translucency screening (a necessary ultrasound) they estimate the due date based on the baby's size, etc. In that way, you and the baby are not exposed to that many ultrasounds and you stay on the safer side of the ultrasound research. Some studies suggest that the high frequency waves may cause some sort of neurological damage and the number of ultrasounds/sonograms should be limited.
Otherwise, at about 8 weeks, I also had a series of blood tests. Well, I went to the LabCorp location and they took 8 vials (seemed endless). Thankfully, I've never been afraid of giving blood or having blood drawn but I can imagine the scene if I were or if Ami came along. Turns out that all of those screens came back okay and I was not a carrier for any genetic condition:) That eliminated another source of worry.
Last week, I had a nuchal translucency ultrasound and I got to watch for more than 30 minutes while my little one kicked up a storm and refused to get into a cooperative position. It was the best summer movie I saw so far and I cannot describe the happiness I felt. Ami hasn't been able to accompany me on any of these visits as he started a new job and he is on probation right now so he relies on me describing everything to him. Come to think of it, I never suggested to him that he needed to go except for the one where we find out the gender. I got four little pictures from this sonogram and today, I saw him pick up the picture and speak to it. The great news about this ultrasound is that the nuchal size came back within range so the risk of down syndrome is much lower. I also had two vials of blood taken at that visit since the new doctor ordered an integrative scan. I am not sure why she ordered the blood works as well but I think this was "new non-invasive research" from what I read.
Finally, I had another necessary test yesterday. There is a strong history of diabetes in my family. I thought that it was a bother having to go through it though but the doctor suggested that I take an early glucose screen. I had to be fasting so I scheduled an 8:30 appointment and sure enough, I was starving when I got there. I had to drink a 10 oz bottle of fruit punch flavored yuckiness with 50 grams of sugar. In the hour I sat in the waiting area, I prayed that this test turned out okay. Otherwise, I would be rescheduled for a 3 hour test that would require a blood draw every hour. Joy joy joy! After the hour, the phlebotomist took three vials (the doctor had also requested a thyroid and vitamin D scan). I drove to my parents house after, part because I was hungry and also because I wanted to test my blood sugar. It was about 15 minutes after I left the place and the reading was 105. Hopefully, it wouldn't be much different from what the LabCorp place reports and I am tolerating glucose well so far or either my baby has quite an appetite:)
It occurred to me while talking/venting to a friend yesterday that the reason why they were doing so many tests was because I have been married for 5 years and this is my first child at 30. Am I an anomaly? Do people have children sooner? At the time Ami and I got married, we did not think of having kids (really at the time we got married, neither of us wanted to have kids until a few years along) and we were still trying to become a little more established in life. I wondered if the doctors thought that I had been trying for a while and never conceived? That will be something for me to ask at my next visit (which is sure to come!). In the mean time, I thank God that I have insurance coverage and at the same time, I wonder if I would be going to the doctor so many times if I didn't.
Essay on Religion and Spirituality
I have attached a link to an essay I wrote for my mandir (religious place of worship) about science and spirituality, two concepts that are very dear to me. Take a look:
http://www.fhosm.com/2011/03/14/science-and-religion/
http://www.fhosm.com/2011/03/14/science-and-religion/
Spirituality?
2011: Earlier in the night, I was asked to contribute to an ongoing posting on our mandir's new webpage. It is supposed to be about anything spiritual, opinionated or otherwise. I am not sure if my opinion will carry any weight or if it matters even but I have already given my word to contribute.
This leaves me now with the question, "what shall I write about?" I guess I have been in a sort of limbo lately. I am not so sure that I should be the one to write about spirituality. To write and expect people to read your opinion is somewhat presumptuous and i guess this was a major reason for privatizing my blog. I wasn't too sure I wanted to share my thoughts with the world anymore. See, I am at a point where I am not too happy with the way I worship and I am experimenting with ways to achieve that communion. I may be saying a series of prayers like I was taught from since I was young, then all of a sudden I get quiet and I stay still. It alternates. Sometimes, I chant.
Either way, I am a little bit....
2013: As you can see, I never finished this post. Nor do I even remember where I left off.
This leaves me now with the question, "what shall I write about?" I guess I have been in a sort of limbo lately. I am not so sure that I should be the one to write about spirituality. To write and expect people to read your opinion is somewhat presumptuous and i guess this was a major reason for privatizing my blog. I wasn't too sure I wanted to share my thoughts with the world anymore. See, I am at a point where I am not too happy with the way I worship and I am experimenting with ways to achieve that communion. I may be saying a series of prayers like I was taught from since I was young, then all of a sudden I get quiet and I stay still. It alternates. Sometimes, I chant.
Either way, I am a little bit....
2013: As you can see, I never finished this post. Nor do I even remember where I left off.
Monday, June 24, 2013
A small drop of happiness:)
Today, I am happy. Happiness is a fleeting thing in this human world though but I do think that being made human, we were made to feel and experience every emotion and in doing so, we learn. Today, I am 13 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Tomorrow, the second trimester begins and we get a little closer. I love the little one and he/she isn't even born yet!
Everyone speaks about changes that occur during pregnancy. There really haven't been a lot for me but here's some that I've noticed.
Sleeping/Waking: For one, I am typing this blog at 8:39 am! For anyone who knows me, they will agree that if I don't have to work, I will wake up in time to see the last 15-30 minutes of the morning...if I am lucky! I've been waking up before Ami in the mornings (around 6-ish) and he is the one who has to work! In fact, he is getting used to the idea of me waking up and seeing him off to work. The reason is of course having to go to the restroom and then I am ridiculously hungry to the point of feeling nauseous every morning. Ami jokes that the baby is definitely like him because it needs food all the time. Now that I am used to it, it's actually a good thing waking up and seeing the morning go by. Actually, it was something that I was very much afraid of when I thought of having a kid. I wasn't disciplined about going to bed and waking up on time and now it seems as if the problem has fixed itself.
Another thing I've noted about sleeping is I have some very strange dreams. It's like a guaranteed movie every time I go to bed...not that I like all of the dreams I have but I definitely have very real and very strange dreams.
Food Cravings/Aversions: So far, I haven't really felt any strange or bizarre cravings nor do I think my sense of smell is anymore intensified. But then again, I always thought my sense of smell was pretty good so maybe nothing changed. The only thing I crave are sweets but not the junk food kinds so much, just fruits or anything with fruits. Before, the only time of the year I ate fruits was during the times of the year I fasted. I just read that it could be that my body needs vitamin C. In fact, I think I have gotten very sensitive to the taste of intensely sweet. I don't like it. Only the fruits. They seem to have the right amount of sugar.
Another major change was that I started cooking more at home and when I am too lazy to cook, I go over more to my mom's house because she always has something and she's all too willing to have us come over and raid her kitchen. And that is exactly what I do...raid the kitchen. I was really looking for the food I grew up eating: the roti and vegetables in the morning, dAl and rice, and the curries. I totally love this change. Both the food and seeing my parents every day/ every other day.
In the beginning, I lost my love affair with coffee and I haven't yet really regained it. No big loss though. I cannot even think of what it was that I loved so much about coffee. Then again, I was drinking entirely too much of it anyway and what really made me stop was when I heard my little one's heartbeat for the first time and found out that the coffee was teratogenic in nature and it could accelerate the heartbeat. I've also pretty much cut out soda and started drinking fruit juice and water. The orange juice makes the vitamins go down. That's pretty much the only real aversion I've had...the sight of the vitamin bottle. Not the taste or anything (although I never liked the taste of medicine, the nasty, icky, disgusting coating on pills, or swallowing any pill....I'd rather take an injection!) but I could not look at the bottle. It may be something psychological though.
While I had very mild bouts of feeling nauseous, I didn't suffer terrifying bouts of nausea/morning sickness during this trimester and I can only pray that it continues this way. It may be something that runs in families because my mom wasn't really sick when she was having us either. The one downside to this was that I gained weight in the first trimester. Like about 8 lbs. Compared to feeling sick all the time though, I'd rather gain the weight. I can think of a hundred different ways to lose weight but throwing up at the sight of food will make me utterly depressed. I am not too worried though because for the last 2-3 weeks, I haven't gained anything more and I am making an effort to walk at least 3 days/ week. By the way, my clothes still fit but they're getting on the tight, soon-to-be-uncomfortable end. Trying to see how far I can get before going crazy with buying clothes though.
Mood Swings: I am irritable sometimes. Sometimes I get angry. I get teary eyed way too easily and for the most trivial things. Ami definitely didn't like these changes and I didn't really enjoy the irritability part because I'm usually a lot more easy going. I am making a conscious effort to observe and keep my moods in check though. Music helps a whole lot.
Lastly, I never really thought that I would be excited to go to a doctor's office as I am now. I'm not sure of anyone who loves going to the ob/gyn's but for now I love going there. I get happy when I hear that little heartbeat. It's worth every other embarrassment you feel in that office. For now, I have only one wish. I hope this little life, whether boy or girl, is born with love and compassion for humanity and an intense and unshakable faith in God or that I am able to teach this to my little one. With that, everything else will be okay.
Everyone speaks about changes that occur during pregnancy. There really haven't been a lot for me but here's some that I've noticed.
Sleeping/Waking: For one, I am typing this blog at 8:39 am! For anyone who knows me, they will agree that if I don't have to work, I will wake up in time to see the last 15-30 minutes of the morning...if I am lucky! I've been waking up before Ami in the mornings (around 6-ish) and he is the one who has to work! In fact, he is getting used to the idea of me waking up and seeing him off to work. The reason is of course having to go to the restroom and then I am ridiculously hungry to the point of feeling nauseous every morning. Ami jokes that the baby is definitely like him because it needs food all the time. Now that I am used to it, it's actually a good thing waking up and seeing the morning go by. Actually, it was something that I was very much afraid of when I thought of having a kid. I wasn't disciplined about going to bed and waking up on time and now it seems as if the problem has fixed itself.
Another thing I've noted about sleeping is I have some very strange dreams. It's like a guaranteed movie every time I go to bed...not that I like all of the dreams I have but I definitely have very real and very strange dreams.
Food Cravings/Aversions: So far, I haven't really felt any strange or bizarre cravings nor do I think my sense of smell is anymore intensified. But then again, I always thought my sense of smell was pretty good so maybe nothing changed. The only thing I crave are sweets but not the junk food kinds so much, just fruits or anything with fruits. Before, the only time of the year I ate fruits was during the times of the year I fasted. I just read that it could be that my body needs vitamin C. In fact, I think I have gotten very sensitive to the taste of intensely sweet. I don't like it. Only the fruits. They seem to have the right amount of sugar.
Another major change was that I started cooking more at home and when I am too lazy to cook, I go over more to my mom's house because she always has something and she's all too willing to have us come over and raid her kitchen. And that is exactly what I do...raid the kitchen. I was really looking for the food I grew up eating: the roti and vegetables in the morning, dAl and rice, and the curries. I totally love this change. Both the food and seeing my parents every day/ every other day.
In the beginning, I lost my love affair with coffee and I haven't yet really regained it. No big loss though. I cannot even think of what it was that I loved so much about coffee. Then again, I was drinking entirely too much of it anyway and what really made me stop was when I heard my little one's heartbeat for the first time and found out that the coffee was teratogenic in nature and it could accelerate the heartbeat. I've also pretty much cut out soda and started drinking fruit juice and water. The orange juice makes the vitamins go down. That's pretty much the only real aversion I've had...the sight of the vitamin bottle. Not the taste or anything (although I never liked the taste of medicine, the nasty, icky, disgusting coating on pills, or swallowing any pill....I'd rather take an injection!) but I could not look at the bottle. It may be something psychological though.
While I had very mild bouts of feeling nauseous, I didn't suffer terrifying bouts of nausea/morning sickness during this trimester and I can only pray that it continues this way. It may be something that runs in families because my mom wasn't really sick when she was having us either. The one downside to this was that I gained weight in the first trimester. Like about 8 lbs. Compared to feeling sick all the time though, I'd rather gain the weight. I can think of a hundred different ways to lose weight but throwing up at the sight of food will make me utterly depressed. I am not too worried though because for the last 2-3 weeks, I haven't gained anything more and I am making an effort to walk at least 3 days/ week. By the way, my clothes still fit but they're getting on the tight, soon-to-be-uncomfortable end. Trying to see how far I can get before going crazy with buying clothes though.
Mood Swings: I am irritable sometimes. Sometimes I get angry. I get teary eyed way too easily and for the most trivial things. Ami definitely didn't like these changes and I didn't really enjoy the irritability part because I'm usually a lot more easy going. I am making a conscious effort to observe and keep my moods in check though. Music helps a whole lot.
Lastly, I never really thought that I would be excited to go to a doctor's office as I am now. I'm not sure of anyone who loves going to the ob/gyn's but for now I love going there. I get happy when I hear that little heartbeat. It's worth every other embarrassment you feel in that office. For now, I have only one wish. I hope this little life, whether boy or girl, is born with love and compassion for humanity and an intense and unshakable faith in God or that I am able to teach this to my little one. With that, everything else will be okay.
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