It ended up being a c-section after the doctors noted some major decelerations in the little guy's heartbeat. The doctor was discussing options that included inducing labor and hoping all goes well or having a c-section (it was my last option). Somewhere in that discussion it hit me that if his heartbeat was slowing that dramatically, then his brain would become starved for oxygen. It was at that point that I asked for the c-section. Turns out that he had gotten his cord around his neck and leg. I am not sure what I expected but it was surreal. They literally tug the baby out of you. I cannot say it hurt but it sure was a lot of tugging and I felt winded, as if I had gotten punched in the chest (not belly), even though I was under some heavy anesthesia.
The little face surprised me. He was smaller than I expected and much more handsome than I could have ever imagined him to be. He also had a full head of hair. For some reason, I was thinking that he would have been close to 8lbs and he came out weighing under 5lb 12oz. Needless to say, we had to go shopping right after he was born because I had no tiny newborn onesies for him. I had bought everything with the 0-3 months tag. I still used them but in the beginning, he looked as if he was lost in his clothes. In fact, he would have fit in the newborn clothes but he was too long for them. I have yet to see the little rolls and I am guessing that I may not see them because Avi's a little busybody. He's quite active for a little baby and he tries to push himself forward when I put him on his belly. It's hard to believe that he was born only 13 weeks ago! Sometimes it feels as if it was longer.
I started this blog a while ago and stopped at this point. I will continue now. Avi is 6 months.
That brings me to what I have to say about this post pregnancy blues->depression thing. It's no joke. It happens. You have to watch for it and know what it is. I had one close friend who I spoke with all through it. It is a serious matter and no one should have to feel guilty for not being sad. You see, the world expects you to be happy and elated but you are in your own little world with only this baby. Most women stay home in the beginning at least and many times, it's hard to take the baby out and you're mostly alone. You're alone because you don't really feel up to seeing anyone everyday because taking care of the baby is work and although I like people, I like a lot of alone time. Also, it was the first time in my adult life that I was home for more than 2 months. The house started feeling small. I wanted to be out but I didn't want to leave the baby because I kept thinking that not long ago, he was a part of me.
I did manage to leave the house without the baby while his dad watched him and it felt great. Somehow, you have to do this. The one thing I would say is that I get dressed up a little better now. I think it is important to feel pretty even though you're carrying a little extra weight and maybe a post-pregnancy baby bump still.
Six months have passed and not too long ago, I was driving home and I realized that I was happy and I wanted to be around people again. I think while you need to talk, you also need time to get used to the change...emotionally. I didn't realize it but although the pregnancy was relatively quiet, my body and mind were also going through major changed of which I was completely oblivious. I will say that the first few months are rough and if you are blue, talk to someone and get out of the house. I had help and I still felt this way. I am happy to say that it does get better and you do end up enjoying the baby after all.
I started this blog a while ago and stopped at this point. I will continue now. Avi is 6 months.
That brings me to what I have to say about this post pregnancy blues->depression thing. It's no joke. It happens. You have to watch for it and know what it is. I had one close friend who I spoke with all through it. It is a serious matter and no one should have to feel guilty for not being sad. You see, the world expects you to be happy and elated but you are in your own little world with only this baby. Most women stay home in the beginning at least and many times, it's hard to take the baby out and you're mostly alone. You're alone because you don't really feel up to seeing anyone everyday because taking care of the baby is work and although I like people, I like a lot of alone time. Also, it was the first time in my adult life that I was home for more than 2 months. The house started feeling small. I wanted to be out but I didn't want to leave the baby because I kept thinking that not long ago, he was a part of me.
I did manage to leave the house without the baby while his dad watched him and it felt great. Somehow, you have to do this. The one thing I would say is that I get dressed up a little better now. I think it is important to feel pretty even though you're carrying a little extra weight and maybe a post-pregnancy baby bump still.
Six months have passed and not too long ago, I was driving home and I realized that I was happy and I wanted to be around people again. I think while you need to talk, you also need time to get used to the change...emotionally. I didn't realize it but although the pregnancy was relatively quiet, my body and mind were also going through major changed of which I was completely oblivious. I will say that the first few months are rough and if you are blue, talk to someone and get out of the house. I had help and I still felt this way. I am happy to say that it does get better and you do end up enjoying the baby after all.
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