I always wanted to learn music...like really study it in a way that I understood what was happening when the singer was singing..not necessarily that I would become a singer but I just wanted to know. Today, thanks to Ami's constant study and listening to him practice, I have a series of bandishes (small tunes that define the raagas and allowed for "heard" passing along of the music through generations) in my head and I can pretty much figure out from the feeling evoked what time of the day they need to be sung. Sometimes, I can be wrong on the time though...I have a bias for certain raagas:).
Hindustani classical music is so vast that you can never really learn the full depth of it but tonight I felt happy. I was listening to an old song...pyar kiya to darna kya (madhubala movie) and I heard the first seven seconds of the video and was able to tell that raaga darbari was being defined.
In all of my years, I never thought that I would be able to figure out what was going on and now, not only do I know what was happening, I figured out that two other raagas (jaunpuri and adana) that happen to be favorites of mine were related to darbari...but darbari is heavier (for want of a better word) and more regal. Darbari and Hameer remind me of court music and by listening to it, you feel as if you are transported to the kingly courts of India's past. With entertainment like that, who needs a tv!
I saw tonight what Ami always says about achieving moksha through intense study of music. For a musician, it is their bliss, their commune. Sometimes, when I listen to him sing, he has so much fun that he would sing if no one was there to listen to him.
The one downside to all of this hearing is that your ear becomes trained to listen for what the singer is doing or about to do and to anticipate it. When the sound you are expecting to hear does not come, the errors manifest and you cannot fully enjoy the performance...Realized this the other day when I listen to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan (a giant, and a favorite of mine) sing "chaap tilak." Thankfully, I am nowhere near to the feeling that Ami describes as "nails scraping on a chalkboard." ..and he still appreciates Nusrat's music...will never say that about a giant in the field! Either way, the good thing about the music of Nusrat-ji is it puts you in that Sufi vortex and you get caught in the energy of his songs.
So in my spiritual travel, I have entered this field of learning...of really letting the music sink in through every pore and get fully absorbed until it is nothing...no more feeling attached to it.
And one more thing...I think i really like music! It's not just Hindustani but any music that is sung from the belly (within). I obviously need to work on my descriptions! It's like painting a picture...and it's strange because each raaga has it's own manifestation in painted art too! Ami's enthusiasm has grown on me and I've come to believe in the idea that if you really long for something, you will get it. I remember the days when we were newly married, in the little apartment when Ami sang and realized that he could go no further if he didn't have a teacher. Then his guruji came through the very door of that apartment:) In the course of his study, I was able to learn things that he described and I always wanted to know.
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Musing and music
Today, we completed a 24 hour drive from Niagara Falls, NY to where we live in South Florida. On the way home, we took a four hour detour to drive more in-state NY to visit my cousin. He hasn't been well lately and as the winter draws on, he gets sick more frequently. There were two things I accomplished on the trip. I wanted to get away from the normal scenery for a little and I wanted to be able to see my cousin again. I was able to do both.
Road trips are nice. Ami is good company. He was particularly animated on this trip and there were good conversations along the way. Needless to say, there was a lot of time to talk, sleep, wake up, and talk again. We drove out of sunny, South Florida weather, into subzero weather up at Niagara Falls. Like always, the falls were beautiful and this time, we remembered to bring our passports so we were able to drive into Canada on one of the days. In fact, that morning, I was awakened by a phone call from a rather distraught Furgie, telling me that Tiger baby had died. It bothered me because I remembered the trip back from Texas and how even though I had never met him, he found himself a comfortable seat on my lap for most of the way. In many ways, Tiggy, as Furgie affectionately called him, served his purpose and left when he knew Furgie was not at home (she was visiting my cousin in NY). Later on that day, Nan told me of a conversation she had with my mom when she got the news.
Mom: "Nan, we wake up this morning and we went to check on Tiggy and it look like if he dead."
Furgie: "Ma, what yuh mean it look like he dead? he dead or he living?"
Even in the most heartbreaking situations, Furgie will deliver a joke. I know my mom didn't know how else to tell Furgie though....
On New Year's Eve, there was a street party hosted by the Hard Rock Cafe and at the stroke of midnight, the hosts dropped a 10-foot gibson guitar. There was even a little count down like the one at Time Square and hopefully, one day, Ami and I would be able to say that we were there when the first guitar was dropped at the Falls. The Canadian side celebrated with fireworks at the falls at the stroke of midnight and on our side, after the guitar dropped, the fireworks went off from the top of a garage building for about five straight minutes. It gave me the impression that us Americans had to show off of a little to our Canadian neighbors when it came to partying. Even though we were freezing, Ami said that he would do this all over again because it was something you never experience by sitting down at home. I guess he has gotten used to my madness=0)
On New Year's day, we got to my cousin's house around 3:30pm. He had been sick all morning and when we got there, I went to his room and found him sitting up on his bed. He lost more weight...something I didn't think was humanly possible. I sat with him on his bed talking while we waited for Ami. We hadn't planned on staying more than an hour because we were considering the drive back home. However, we stayed for a little over two hours and everyone in the house made the very best of those two hours. I even ended up telling my cousin at one point that he was only a car ride away. Of course I went into the kitchen and found something to eat then Ami and i both ate. Afterward, I took Ami around to show him my cousin's house. I was very happy to see my cousin come out of the room and sit with us during the time we were there.
His face became so happy and so much brighter! We were joking, he laughed a lot...actually, we were all laughing, we spoke of getting better, of better days and of the prospect of moving to Florida (he doesn't like the winter-time...never got used to it). I ended up taking pictures this time. He smiled in all of them and after, I showed him the pictures as well as the video of the falls and the new years countdown from the night before. At one point, I saw Ami looking at us and smiling. I was so happy there! When we were about to walk out the door, Ami noticed the keyboard and he played and sang a few quick songs for them. I watched my cousin's face take on a peaceful look as they did the same thing I always do...marvel at how easily Ami's fingers find the notes. Vim (Vimla) ended up telling him that he should have just sang and played instead of us doing anything else.
On our ride back home, i thanked Ami for driving there and staying so long. He then told me that although he knew we were very close, he didn't realize that we were so comfortable with each other to the point of being like siblings and my aunt being just like my mom. He was telling me that I went into the kitchen as if it was our house and did whatever I wanted. He used the word comfortable and comfortable is exactly what it is. Sanjay's house has always been like my own. Ami even mentioned how nice it would be if he was that close to his cousins or if he had grown up with them.
I will now address the issue of hope and that tiny flame that burns, even while flickering in the tempest of his sickness, it burns. Seeing my cousin gave me hope. I saw a person who is putting up a fight...and a strong one. He may be weak in body but his mind is strong. He has a strong will. While talking in the car on the way back, I told Ami of a conversation we had back in October when he was in the hospital. The doctor had told him that week that his cancer was terminal and nothing could really help him anymore. We were talking about the possibility of continuing his treatment and he told me that just because the doctor said the treatment wouldn't help doesn't mean he can't try it.
I looked at him yesterday and even as he appeared so thin and frail, his eyes, the smile and the personality was all the same. His will is stronger than ever and I saw hope in that. In many ways, the visit showed me just what I needed to see.
I drove for the greater part of the night while Ami slept so there was enough time to think. For the rest of the ride home, I was in the mood for light music...ghazals. The songs were on Ami's cell phone and i found myself holding the phone to my ear so as not to miss a word while Jagit and Chitra Singh work their individual magic...In fact, I hadn't realized that I was singing along with Chitra until Ami offered to teach me the ghazal later on in the trip. I asked him why and he said that he heard me singing it in the night and wondered if I had known it from before. I didn't.
While driving, I told myself that there is a harsh reality ahead of me and there is hope but what if that hope becomes reality? Before Ami fell asleep, he said that doctors only tell you what they believe to be true based on what they have seen but they cannot tell you that you are going to die because their profession is based on trial and error and thus, they are just as unsure. I was listening/singing along with Anup Jalota as he sang the Hanuman Chalisa and I realized that just as the sun was coming up and brightening the night sky, a light came on in the deep recesses of my mind, showing me the answer to my thoughts from the night. It was in those 40 verses written by Tulsidas so long ago.
Watch Hanuman Chalisa - Anup Jalota in Music | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Road trips are nice. Ami is good company. He was particularly animated on this trip and there were good conversations along the way. Needless to say, there was a lot of time to talk, sleep, wake up, and talk again. We drove out of sunny, South Florida weather, into subzero weather up at Niagara Falls. Like always, the falls were beautiful and this time, we remembered to bring our passports so we were able to drive into Canada on one of the days. In fact, that morning, I was awakened by a phone call from a rather distraught Furgie, telling me that Tiger baby had died. It bothered me because I remembered the trip back from Texas and how even though I had never met him, he found himself a comfortable seat on my lap for most of the way. In many ways, Tiggy, as Furgie affectionately called him, served his purpose and left when he knew Furgie was not at home (she was visiting my cousin in NY). Later on that day, Nan told me of a conversation she had with my mom when she got the news.
Mom: "Nan, we wake up this morning and we went to check on Tiggy and it look like if he dead."
Furgie: "Ma, what yuh mean it look like he dead? he dead or he living?"
Even in the most heartbreaking situations, Furgie will deliver a joke. I know my mom didn't know how else to tell Furgie though....
On New Year's Eve, there was a street party hosted by the Hard Rock Cafe and at the stroke of midnight, the hosts dropped a 10-foot gibson guitar. There was even a little count down like the one at Time Square and hopefully, one day, Ami and I would be able to say that we were there when the first guitar was dropped at the Falls. The Canadian side celebrated with fireworks at the falls at the stroke of midnight and on our side, after the guitar dropped, the fireworks went off from the top of a garage building for about five straight minutes. It gave me the impression that us Americans had to show off of a little to our Canadian neighbors when it came to partying. Even though we were freezing, Ami said that he would do this all over again because it was something you never experience by sitting down at home. I guess he has gotten used to my madness=0)
On New Year's day, we got to my cousin's house around 3:30pm. He had been sick all morning and when we got there, I went to his room and found him sitting up on his bed. He lost more weight...something I didn't think was humanly possible. I sat with him on his bed talking while we waited for Ami. We hadn't planned on staying more than an hour because we were considering the drive back home. However, we stayed for a little over two hours and everyone in the house made the very best of those two hours. I even ended up telling my cousin at one point that he was only a car ride away. Of course I went into the kitchen and found something to eat then Ami and i both ate. Afterward, I took Ami around to show him my cousin's house. I was very happy to see my cousin come out of the room and sit with us during the time we were there.
His face became so happy and so much brighter! We were joking, he laughed a lot...actually, we were all laughing, we spoke of getting better, of better days and of the prospect of moving to Florida (he doesn't like the winter-time...never got used to it). I ended up taking pictures this time. He smiled in all of them and after, I showed him the pictures as well as the video of the falls and the new years countdown from the night before. At one point, I saw Ami looking at us and smiling. I was so happy there! When we were about to walk out the door, Ami noticed the keyboard and he played and sang a few quick songs for them. I watched my cousin's face take on a peaceful look as they did the same thing I always do...marvel at how easily Ami's fingers find the notes. Vim (Vimla) ended up telling him that he should have just sang and played instead of us doing anything else.
On our ride back home, i thanked Ami for driving there and staying so long. He then told me that although he knew we were very close, he didn't realize that we were so comfortable with each other to the point of being like siblings and my aunt being just like my mom. He was telling me that I went into the kitchen as if it was our house and did whatever I wanted. He used the word comfortable and comfortable is exactly what it is. Sanjay's house has always been like my own. Ami even mentioned how nice it would be if he was that close to his cousins or if he had grown up with them.
I will now address the issue of hope and that tiny flame that burns, even while flickering in the tempest of his sickness, it burns. Seeing my cousin gave me hope. I saw a person who is putting up a fight...and a strong one. He may be weak in body but his mind is strong. He has a strong will. While talking in the car on the way back, I told Ami of a conversation we had back in October when he was in the hospital. The doctor had told him that week that his cancer was terminal and nothing could really help him anymore. We were talking about the possibility of continuing his treatment and he told me that just because the doctor said the treatment wouldn't help doesn't mean he can't try it.
I looked at him yesterday and even as he appeared so thin and frail, his eyes, the smile and the personality was all the same. His will is stronger than ever and I saw hope in that. In many ways, the visit showed me just what I needed to see.
I drove for the greater part of the night while Ami slept so there was enough time to think. For the rest of the ride home, I was in the mood for light music...ghazals. The songs were on Ami's cell phone and i found myself holding the phone to my ear so as not to miss a word while Jagit and Chitra Singh work their individual magic...In fact, I hadn't realized that I was singing along with Chitra until Ami offered to teach me the ghazal later on in the trip. I asked him why and he said that he heard me singing it in the night and wondered if I had known it from before. I didn't.
While driving, I told myself that there is a harsh reality ahead of me and there is hope but what if that hope becomes reality? Before Ami fell asleep, he said that doctors only tell you what they believe to be true based on what they have seen but they cannot tell you that you are going to die because their profession is based on trial and error and thus, they are just as unsure. I was listening/singing along with Anup Jalota as he sang the Hanuman Chalisa and I realized that just as the sun was coming up and brightening the night sky, a light came on in the deep recesses of my mind, showing me the answer to my thoughts from the night. It was in those 40 verses written by Tulsidas so long ago.
Watch Hanuman Chalisa - Anup Jalota in Music | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
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