Finally Obama Speaks on the Trayvon Martin-Zimmerman Trial. Thoughts

I love it when I turn on the TV, and inadvertently watch history in the making. Obama has famously skirted the issue of race and today, around 1:45pm, there was a turning point. Even watching it, you felt as if something was going down. Something big. I waited the entire week for his speech. I am sure many were also anticipating the speech and out of the blue, he showed up at a White House press conference and spoke. He gave his own accounts of being profiled and addressed what is happening in the nation. He justified the African American response to the verdict and as a people who have spent their lives getting the short end of the stick when it comes to education, jobs, healthcare, justice, and opportunities, their reaction to the verdict was every bit right. I agree.
I think what Obama said was what people needed to hear. It was not a speech about solutions but it was a speech that told the public that Obama identified with the minorities and he knew their struggle. It was all we needed to hear. I would so love to tell the people who constantly say "us and them," and who deny that there is a huge discrepancy in this country (FOX news in particular) to go screw themselves. I feel as if everything about this channel is about keeping the nation in a deadlock and preventing progress. They believe that they are the only intelligent ones in the country and everyone else is wearing a blindfold. Only the fool thinks he is wise!
So here is why I am following this so closely. For me, it is personal. I grew up learning to distrust blacks. In Trinidad, the country is racially divided so I knew what racism was from the beginning. However, one thing changed everything. I started teaching at a school that was predominantly black. It was the single most important thing that could have happened to me and I am thankful that it did because you see how wrong racism really is. You see how it propagates hatred and ignorance. God cannot be present where these things exist. I saw how these kids were always set up to fail and how at an early age, they were fooled into thinking they were given the same opportunity when in reality, they weren't. It bothered me. It is unfair and two things make our future brighter, children and education. That's it and it was enough to show me that all of what I learned as a child was from one pocket in time and needed to stay where it belonged, in the past. It is time to learn, tear down walls, and to move forward.
While there are problems that are inherent to the African American group, these problems stem from years and years of cyclical poverty and lower socio economic status that gives a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. This can be corrected. There is a divide in this country that did not exist in Trinidad. In some ways, I felt as if the near 50-50 division of the races prevented either race in Trinidad from suffering the same injustices I see here.I can safely say that a lack of education and willingness to learn about another person's culture and customs will cause what we are seeing in this country today. Once you learn about a person, you see them as an equal. You don't see color and it is one of the most liberating feelings.
Finally, one cannot tell me that racial profiling occurs. You only have to watch my husband at an airport screening line. Now the strike here is that if this baby I am having turns out to be a boy, not only will I have to worry because I will have a brown-skinned child but someone will think that my little one is a terrorist as well. The sad thing is we are not the same race, extremist, Arab, fanatics, nor are we Muslim! We only share the same skin color and that is enough to profile us as well. Hence, Trayvon Martin's story belongs to all of us who have witnessed and lived racial profiling.

my take on Trayvon Martin's trial

Like many, we have been following this case for quite a while in our home state of Florida. I was one of the people who signed the petition to have Zimmerman arrested because I felt as if for too long there has been a divide in this country and anyone who shoots a kid who was unarmed needs to go through some sort of trial. Even with his not guilty verdict, I feel as if the nation just put Zimmerman on their own trial. If I assumed that every black child who looked like a "thug," had a grill, and smoked marijuana, was up to no good then I would have to leave my profession as I would be terribly biased. I've found that these kids are the first ones to say "sorry" and they are quite polite. I've never smoked a day in my life, and I don't drink but I will not make assumptions about anyone who does.  However, there is a factor of respect. Kids are people too. Black kids are people too!
It is scary when you don't know about someone and go on assumptions. Assumptions are scary and they can lead to death. This is what I think happened here. Yes there was profiling. I feel as if something needs to be done about the gun laws in this country. They need to be more stringent because too often, they are used for the true purpose for what they were made: to kill. Very often, innocent people are killed and yeah, they protect too...they protect the shooter.
I wonder, like a lot of people, if George Zimmerman did not have that gun on his person, would he have even approached Trayvon? You see, a gun puts one into a whole new ball game. If I were a kid in today's America, there are two things I would do in a situation like that. Well three. I could run, I could stay and speak with the person, or I could do what Trayvon did and get aggressive. I wouldn't blame any reaction. If you are a hot-headed kid, you would turn around and cuss the heck out of Zimmerman and probably beat the crap out of him for assuming you were up to no good when you were minding your own business. Let's not pretend. How would you react if someone suggested or accused you of something you weren't doing? When we are hurt about something, we can cry or we can react with anger. Now I don't blame Trayvon's reaction. We really don't give young people respect. I see it all the time. This kid made a grave mistake. He assumed that in today's world, because we live in a country that elected a black President and anyone could achieve their dreams, that somehow he was equal and that the stories of his parents and grandparents were buried in history. Not everyone shared his thought. 

"Nesting"

Just this week, I left my normally vegetative state and began a cleaning and organizing frenzy. These are things I never really think of on a daily basis but lately, I have been looking at the house in a whole new light. While I do like seeing a clean house and I appreciate seeing things in place, I am not OCD about it. However, I emptied out two closets so far and threw out the clothes I would never wear again or clothes I had grown tired of wearing, cleaned the storage closet and arranged the items on the shelf over the washer and dryer. I thought about donating the clothes to the neighborhood clothes bank but I wonder how awkward it will be to donate Indian wear since a great many of the clothes were of that type. Another thing I let go of was my size 3 clothes. I think I have given up the thought that I would fit into that size anymore. They were from my ultra thin-college and early going out with Ami days.
It turns out that just as there is a name for every phenomenon out there, there is a name for this organizing and cleaning that comes with pregnancy. It is called nesting. Apparently, it stems from some subconscious need of mine to prepare for the baby and get things ready. Later in pregnancy, it could signify impending labor.
In many ways, I am thankful that I have this summer free. For one, because I get to prepare the house and do a thorough cleaning. Last year, I worked throughout the summer planning curriculum for an additional class that was being taught. It took up the entire time as I was working on two separate classes and when the school year started, I felt grossly unprepared. Hopefully, this year, I will be a little more rested and prepared to face what comes once the school year roller coaster begins.
The doctor told me that it wouldn't be until the next four weeks that I find out the gender of the baby. I have no real inclinations and it is a bit nerve wrecking. My belly isn't big enough to tell if it is watermelon or football (American, I am supposing) shaped although I just started showing this week...like non-bloated showing. In addition to that, I have no idea what carrying high or carrying low is and I have had changing tastes in food. In the beginning I ate potato chips but that went quickly and now I tolerate the sweets better. I cannot stand the sour taste but that may change.  The only consistency I have noted is that I like adding extra pepper to my food when I eat, something I never really did before. This is assuming that I follow the old wives' tales but the problem is that my logical mind gets in the way. I did try the Chinese gender predictor and it predicted girl though. Lets see.  Until then, I am going gender neutral and continuing the cleaning process.

Driving myself crazy

The thing that I find myself doing most is google searching what happens as the various weeks and days pass by. It is an obsession and I am sure that I am not the only person who does this during their pregnancy. The only thing is that after a while, you want to feel the baby move or something to reassure yourself that everything is okay. The doctor's visit seems so far away now.
In fact, I think I am beginning to become a bit impatient and I am usually quite patient. I am aware that it is almost 16 weeks (15 weeks, 4 days) and that the time is passing by but I feel as if I am in a bit of a lull and the time is not passing by quickly enough. I think I need to find things to occupy my time. In actuality, there are a lot of things that I can do but I am waiting for the 20 week mark.
I have downloaded a few apps and a pregnancy countdown timer as well and I've read all of the messages for the full 40 weeks so now all I do is reread them. I know what every test is for and I've acquainted myself with quite a few medical terms as well as all of the possible things that can go right and wrong. Basically, in an educated way, I am driving myself nuts!
I am very well aware that this is probably the one of the last totally free weeks that I will have for a long long time...well for the rest of my life because Nan has decided to get remarried and there is a wedding on the very near horizon as well as the temple's camp and the week after, school begins.
If all goes well, I plan to work until the Christmas break begins. Let's see how things turn out. As for the Ph.D. I am working on that slowly....very, very slowly. It may be too late to drop it because I'm half way through but the prospects of landing a public health job in Florida is next to nothing. I do feel a little more accomplished for getting the MPH and I am happy that I decided to pursue a Ph.D. but I am not sure what will happen when the baby comes. Thankfully, I got most of the studies completed before.  I really do like the field and with the new rules for health insurance and the swing toward preventive medicine, we may be in demand shortly and hopefully, there will be more job openings in South Florida.
I am a bit upset about the deal that we got with teaching. I called last week to find out about what my insurance covers and found that as teachers, we get a good deal with benefits...for ourselves. To add a child to my insurance is another issue. I also found out that while teachers are allowed 12 weeks and their insurance is covered during that time, they are not paid, not even a fraction of their salary. I wondered about that. What about those teachers who live in single-income homes? While Ami and I are a bit more secure, I wondered how others do it. The life of a public servant is a tough one indeed!
Having a baby in this country is an expensive venture for middle class people who receive no aid from government, state or federal. From what I have seen, and it is not certain, the cheapest newborn insurance runs around $100. Then we have to wonder about someone who will see the baby and that is also another thing that will run up the bill. My mom, who has been wanting a grandchild for quite a long time, has volunteered to do as much babysitting as she can and I am totally on board with her more than anyone else but she cannot quit her job.
Either way, now that I know what's involved, I will save a little extra when the new school year begins just to be ahead. When I told my dad about the whole salary situation, he gave me a look and replied with the same answer that he always gave since we were little, "But anyhow, you're not going to starve!"