Crime and Punishment....another Dostoevsky classic....and Life

I've begun reading a much smaller Dostoevsky novel called Crime and Punishment. It is a classic as well and i am enjoying the smell of the book too. So far, i haven't progressed much into the novel to give a sound opinion but it is interesting. I know it because it has been two days since i last read and i am still thinking about what will happen next. what amazes me about Dostoevsky is his ability to write large novels like The Brothers Karamazov with what was probably only a pen and paper. I doubt very much that a typewriter was invented in his time. he was mid 1800s.
I am happy now...Nan is reading the book but she is a bit apprehensive. it has been a while since she read a big book the likes of Brothers Karamazov. she will like it though. I know her taste. and she will feel the same sinking feeling in the end and i guess like most people who love reading for the sake of analyzing the books, she will long to read the sequel novel that Dostoevsky never wrote.
Crime and Punishment is a promising book. I look forward to reading.
Now about my life.....We have been praying for my uncle's departed soul for the last few days and we have found solace in it. Mummy no longer cries as much and I guess we have accepted his death. It will still remain with us...the loss that is...for a while but eventually, we will remember him for the life he lived.
Before we heard the news, i had spent lots of time at the malls shopping for presents. a few days before christmas, i saw my ex-boyfriend after 2 and 1/2 years. i recognized him because his dress style has not changed at all for that long time. meanwhile, i have evolved from track pants and t-shirts to dresses, skirts, jeans and blouses...now that i look back on that relationship, i guess i never really put the effort into it....not even for something as simple as dressing like a girl. anyway, i was looking at shoes in Dillards when i looked up in time to see his sister pointing at me. he saw me too. my reaction was what surprised me. i froze and i could feel my heart pounding against my ribs. ami took my hand and led me out of the store. in the parking lot, he said that he didn't want to stay before the ex said something and there was trouble. i know that i was over the ex because i didnt feel anything....no love, no hate...nothing except maybe fear. what surprised me was that i was afraid of him after so long. hopefully, one day i will overcome this. really, i guess he only lives 2 miles away from where i do but i managed to not see him for so long that i thought that he had literally fallen off the face of the earth. or maybe he was visiting for christmas. whatever it was, i do not take pleasure in seeing him.
ami came over after work tonight. there is precious little things that i can cook that tastes good enough for him, or anyone for that matter, to eat. however, i can make these little "empanada-like" things that he likes. i guess the thing that makes it taste good is the cheese. cheese has a way of making food taste better. at least in america. i am indian but the only spices i like are the ones that are associated with the sweet foods. not really a fan of the spicy spices. but i considered the health part of the equation. i did not fry the "pies" but i baked them in the toaster oven with the littlest amount of butter i could possibly use. there was olives in the "pies" and the dough had flaxseeds. both are good to control cholesterol. well ami liked them. i felt like how one of those cooks on the food networks feel when people enjoy their food=0) yeah right! i have a long way to go. cooking is not really my thing and i am still a long way from wanting to make it my thing! until then, there is frozen broccolli and cheese that i can microwave for 1 minute!!!!!